Silvanus' Blog

Archive for the ‘LiveJournal Archive’ Category

My life is a complete and total point of confusion.
Arrgh! I just want some freaking stability. Once I get to a point where I’m getting things under control there is a kink in the works, grrr. I wanna smash my brain and make it quit thinking the thoughts it does. I want calmness, not discord. Everything should be smooth, not all jacked up like it is.
I want to take my heart out, I don’t want to feel anymore. It just creates problems I have no way of possibly solving.
Anyway, as usual my entries are at the behest of my tormented psyche. STOP IT BRAIN, OR I’LL STAB YOU WITH A Q-TIP!!

Freak… Out.

Artist: Clannad
Album: Anam
Title: In A Lifetime

Hard to tell
Or recognise a sign
To see me through
A warning sign

First the thunder
Satisfied, if the past it will not lie
Then the storm
Torn assunder
The future you and i get blown away
In the storm
In a lifetime
And as the rain it falls
Begin again, as the storm breaks through
Heavy in my heart
Believe the light in you
So the light shines in you
Without color, faded and worn
Torn asunder in the storm

Unless the sound has faded from your soul
Unless it disappears

First the thunder
Selfish storm
Then the storm
Hold on the inside
Torn asunder
One life
In the storm
In a lifetime
In a lifetime

Torment eats my soul
Something touched, felt, never known
Unable to satiate the beast inside
Solutions elude
Seeking understaning
Deprived of concious thought
Imagination overwhelming
Beating, thrashing, confounding
My heart guides me,
My logic tells me,
Which is true?
What should I do?
I reach levels of grasping
but find them illogical
Pain follows me,
Torments me,
Rends my soul
Wish I could believe
That which seems to be reality
But imagination takes me aflight
and confuses me again
Want to understand
Want it to be gra
Fear it is achasan
Cannot handle the pain
The torment inside
My brain is filled to bursting with possiblities
Which is the thread fate will choose?
Will the skein be cut clean?
Will it be allowed to weave?
My soul is the playground of Eris
now tormented with the possibility
The risk is great
But is the reward the greater?
Is the risk worth the gamble?
If snake’s eye I roll,
The pain will be great
If seven or eleven,
The prize inconceivable
Please grant me the clue
to unravel this tangle of despair.
Will I cast true
or will confusion begin anew?

I’m a freak and do Karaoke and this is one of the songs I sing. I just kind of thought of it and decided to post it.

Artist: Love & Rockets
Title: So Alive

I don’t know what color your eyes are, baby,
But your hair is long and brown.
Your legs are strong, and you’re so, so long.
And you don’t come from this town.

My head is full of magic, baby,
And I can’t share this with you.
The feel I’m on a cross again, lately,
But there’s nothing to do with you.

I’m alive, so alive.
I’m alive, so alive.

Your strut makes me crazy, makes me see you more clearly.
Oh, baby, now I can see you.
Wish I could stop,
Switch off the clock,
Make it all happen for you.

I’m alive, so alive.
I’m alive, so alive.

I don’t know what color your eyes are, baby,
But your hair is long and brown.
Your legs are strong, and you’re so, so long.
And you don’t come from this town.

My head is full of magic, baby,
And I can’t share this with you.
The feel I’m on top again, baby,
That’s got everything to do with you.

I’m alive, so alive.
I’m alive, so alive.